Monday, August 13, 2007

out of anger//back to beautiful

i will not post out of anger. i will not open the floodgates and lash out. i will not tell you about how i don't want to sleep with her, but i want to just with the hope that you'd find out.

but these things are true:
you wouldn't care anyway. you said so.

it would just 'confirm' things in your skull where everything bunches up at once and pulses and gives new life to more crazy.

i would feel worse because i slept with a friend who i don't have those feelings for.. once upon a blue moon, when we were kids, yes.. but i didn't even know it then.

[and i know you'll say i'm still just a kid.]


i'm getting back to beautiful. and i don't care if you're here for the transformation.

because you wouldn't care anyway.