i will not post out of anger. i will not open the floodgates and lash out. i will not tell you about how i don't want to sleep with her, but i want to just with the hope that you'd find out.
but these things are true:
you wouldn't care anyway. you said so.
it would just 'confirm' things in your skull where everything bunches up at once and pulses and gives new life to more crazy.
i would feel worse because i slept with a friend who i don't have those feelings for.. once upon a blue moon, when we were kids, yes.. but i didn't even know it then.
[and i know you'll say i'm still just a kid.]
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i'm getting back to beautiful. and i don't care if you're here for the transformation.
because you wouldn't care anyway.
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