small doses

i'm opening my eyes again for the first time in just over a year.. getting used to seeing the world outside of the one we had together..

relearning beauty and comfort and trying to grasp those last strands of ME in my fingertips before they're blown away with the wake of your passing through.

and you don't know that i'm starting to let go. and i have to say it aloud to myself before i can practice it.

but i have to do it for me. i have to be okay with me. i have to remember to still try to let the next one in and hope that i heal without creating scar tissue that holds this world out..

'..The food that I'm eating
Is suddenly tasteless
I know I'm alone now
I know what it tastes like
So break me to small parts
Let go in small doses
But spare some for spare parts
There might be some good ones..'

[regina spektor - 'ode to divorce']