Apres moi le deluge

can you find me?
i'm the last of what's left
of what you left me
when i turned away and left you
for good.

two years doesn't seem long at 3am

and in the end it doesn't matter if i get the dates right
it just matters if i write ambiguously enough
nonsensical enough

i'm weighed against things you never even knew about
so i grab her hand, hold it against my soul
and leap off the curb.

Writing the words

i'm gonna write the words you hold in your hands
with your head tipped back
off the bed
while women and men
roam your native lands

i'm gonna write the words waiting on your lips
swollen and red
while they hold your hips
stamping.
burning
engraving
'i was here'.

i'm gonna write the words that you
hold in secret places
where you go
when your private space
is entered
and you are left
violated and left dripping
with them.

i'm gonna write em on your chest backwards
so that every morning,
when you stand naked in front of a mirror
you'll be reminded.

i'm gonna write em between your legs
so they can see them too,
the ones who pay attention,
and they'll heed the warning
and learn you
and respect you
and know you
and never ruin you again

i'm gonna write em on the inside of your eyelids
in black permanent marker
so at the end
when the light finally shows for you,
before you let go,
you'll know it was all real.
you'll know it was all the truth.
and i was there always writing the words for you.

12:39am
august 3rd, 2007

imitation

sometimes i think i've forgotten how to communicate.
or maybe i've never learned how to really do it before.

this realization feels like remembering how
to breathe without thought after so many
scheduled
labored
breaths.

Inhale.
Exhale.

First 'hello'.. Inhale.
Letting go.. Exhale.

[and how do you know anything
when everything you know isn't real?]

You're the ink & the pen
we're the words.
i'm the indents on the next page
left from your impression of us..
a ghost of the story
[a ghost of a girl]
wanting to form, but without
the necessary utensils..
i am an imitation of myself.